Escapist
by Lencionim
Summary: You never expected your wish to come true, but it has. (Extremely weird ONESHOT, told in second person. There isn't an exact timeline for when it takes place, and it could be either the manga or the anime.)


First thing that happens is you walk through a portal, because I as the author think they're convenient, and because despite popular belief stories don't have to make sense, especially not in the beginning. You find yourself in Meiji era Japan, in a particularly busy section of Tokyo, adorned in the traditional clothing of the period. You have to dodge a few crowds, but for the most part people are polite and cheerful as you duck past them. You are confused as to why you can suddenly understand Japanese. Despite all the words running together, and the fact that you only have a basic understanding of certain Japanese phrases from your studies back home, you can decipher what people say with an unmerited, perfect clarity. Wandering aimlessly, you try to read the Kanji on a sign, to see if that will also translate inside your head. Disappointingly, it doesn't work. Apparently, literacy was not included on this magic portal ride, only colloquialism.

You decide that probably isn't such a bad thing, since from what you understand about this era, which is very little, not many people are literate in the first place. Besides, you can kind of, sort of read the Hiragana on a red sign that flaps in the wind over a restaurant you walk past on the way to… wherever it is you're going.

You decide you need a destination, so you enter the restaurant. A waitress that's probably too bubbly for her own good greets you, gesturing to a seat across from a particularly rowdy group of restaurateurs. The group consists of a redhead with a sword at his side, a guy who looks too tall to fit comfortably in the corner where he sits despite his jovial smile, a ten-year-old with unruly hair and a grumpy constitution, a woman in a colorful kimono who seems to be perpetually scolding the tall guy and the kid, and, lastly, another woman dressed in purple, who is far more poised than the rest of them and quietly drinking sake.

You eat your meal in silence, and nobody notices you're there in any dramatic sense. Then you remember you have no way of paying for the meal you've ordered. You panic internally, which you could swear is what causes the redhead to look in your direction. Once he sees you, his expression morphs from a frighteningly intense stare to a soft, kind smile before he returns his attention to his own group. You have never dined and ditched before, and you don't know what to do. If, at that moment, a black hole were to spontaneously appear and swallow you, you would welcome it for the sheer fact it might save you from having to explain yourself to the waitress.

The next time the waitress comes over to you, you chicken out and don't say anything except that the meal is very good so far. She happily tilts her head and then shuffles away. She spends more time than necessary on the aforementioned group across from you, which makes sense because she seems about the same age as the ten-year-old that's sitting with them. You can tell the waitress is a sweet person by the way she giggles at the other kid's terrible joke.

You try to remember if tips account for most of a waitress' salary in Japan. You contemplate ordering everything on the menu, if only to delay the inevitable confession. Then you realize this is a completely counterproductive thing to do, and the next time the waitress comes back to ask how things are, you tell her in the most apologetic way you can muster that you have no money.

She stares blankly at you for a moment, glances inexplicably at the tall guy in the group across from you, and then fetches the owner.

The tall guy sees this and looks straight at you, though in more of a curious way than an intimidating one. You shrink into your seat. You want to disappear.

The owner offers to let you work off your debt, even though the meal you ordered wasn't particularly expensive. You nod eagerly, promising to do your best and apologizing once again for your stupidity. The owner laughs, juts her thumb at the tall guy, and says she has had her fair share of people not paying for their meals. The tall guy sneezes and wrinkles his nose. The owner introduces herself officially as Tae and shows you into the kitchen, where you spend the rest of the day washing dishes.

You decide you like this place, and wonder about permanent employment if the portal never opens again to take you home. You think it might be nice staying in this era for a while, until you discover upon leaving the Akabeko that you have no place to spend the night. Luckily, it's midsummer, and the ground under the bridge by the river isn't too bumpy to sleep comfortably on. You spend at least fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to fold the outer layer of your clothing properly before you give up, flip it inside out, and use it as a pillow.

You awake to a rather odd conversation. Odd not because of what is said, but because you recognize the voices from somewhere that you can't quite remember in your slow, hazy state of waking.

"Miss," says one of the voices, the one nearest your ear. "Are you alright?"

"Hey, wait, isn't that that girl from before?"

"What girl?"

"You know! The one from the Akabeko the other day. I heard from Tsubame she couldn't pay her bill so she ended up working a shift to make up for it."

You scoot up onto your haunches and rub your eyes, clearing your throat to make sure your words don't come out sounding too scratchy.

"I'm fine," you tell the redhead. "Sorry, was I in your way? I tried to pick a spot where no one would care if I slept."

"Wait a sec," says the tall guy. He leans over in your direction and you fidget. "You telling us you slept out in the open on purpose?"

You nod, looking away.

"But why?" asks the kid. "Don't you have anywhere else to go?"

"Um," you say. "Not particularly."

They all look at each other and come to some mutual conclusion silently, though you have no idea what it is.

"It would seem there is a reason you couldn't pay your bill at the Akabeko yesterday," says the redhead.

You feel the heat rise into your cheeks. "You know about that?"

"Well yeah," says the kid. "I work there sometimes myself, and the girls like to gossip…"

You feel violated. You thought Tae and Tsubame were nice. You vow to never again enter the Akabeko no matter how hungry you get. At that exact moment, your stomach growls. You put both your arms over your belly as if that'll mute the low gurgling noises. The tall guy looks at you with what you could swear is sympathy.

"It might be best if you found a place to stay," says the redhead. You think he's being condescending until he extends a hand, offering to help you up. You don't know how you feel about taking it, but your joints are sore from sleeping on the ground, so you oblige. "Yahiko, would you mind running ahead and telling Miss Kaoru what's going on? It would of great help to this one, that it would."

"You mean I gotta tell Kaoru? But Kenshin, there's no way she's gonna listen to me!"

"Yeah, seriously," says the tall guy. "I know you're a nice guy and everything, but isn't this going a little far, even for you?"

You stand there awkwardly while they discuss this. You don't know what to do with your hands, so you turn the garment you used as your pillow in your fingers until it's no longer inside-out.

"Ugh, fine! Just don't blame me when Kaoru's in a sour mood when you get back," says Yahiko. He dashes off, and you see him run all the way across the bridge before he vanishes into the crowds on the other side.

"Well, I guess that's that," says the tall guy. "By the way, I'm Sanosuke Sagara." He leans over abruptly and whispers in a weird, partners-in-crime sort of way, "You know, you could've skipped out on paying and Tae wouldn't have done anything about it. You didn't really have to wash dishes. Next time just run out the front door while she's busy with another guest."

You cannot believe he just told you that.

"Sano," says the redhead in a deliberately off-put tone that you previously hadn't thought him capable of. When all he gets from Sanosuke is a shrug in response, he shakes his head and returns his attention to you. "In any case, this one is called Kenshin, Kenshin Himura."

"Nice to meet you." You suddenly have no idea how to hold a conversation. Words climb up your throat, slip on the back of your tongue, and slide back down again. You manage only to get your name out and then clam up until you reach the dojo, where you become acquainted with Kaoru, who you decide is about the most generous person in existence. She lets you stay there indefinitely, and even feeds you!

You scarf down the meal with a smile even though it tastes horrible. Then you offer to cook for everyone from now on as a way to earn your keep. Yahiko and Sanosuke are exuberant about this. Kaoru looks a bit irked, but she doesn't say anything, and Kenshin flashes you the tiniest of grateful smiles.

The first night is uncomfortable. Even though Kaoru and the others have told you you're welcome to stay, you feel out of place and anxious. You don't know how to reconcile this, and can't get to sleep. When you get up the next morning, having only slept in half-hour spurts at the most, you are surprised to see Kenshin has awoken at the break of dawn and is leaning over the laundry basin, scrubbing. Not wanting to bother him, you say nothing and shuffle into the kitchen.

The only reason you know how to use the stove is because you saw Tae cooking at the Akabeko the other day. You decide you should probably thank her for her unintentional help. You manage to cook better than Kaoru, although not by much, which prompts loads of (in your opinion) unearned compliments from Kenshin and Yahiko. Kaoru meekly asks if you might teach her to cook better sometime. You say sure, even though you can't understand what could be so difficult about making the breakfast you prepared. Yahiko makes a snide comment and gets smacked.

The Kamiya Dojo is a lovely place. You appreciate its subtle beauty, and wonder if you can find art supplies in this era somewhere. Sano moseys in asking for lunch at the same time you're studying the cracks in one of the wooden support beams, while Kaoru and Yahiko are busy sparring.

"If it isn't the newest tenant of Kamiya Dojo," says Sanosuke. "What're you looking at over there?"

You squeak, say it's nothing. He scrunches his face up in confusion, arching an eyebrow. You laugh nervously, and decide being an artist isn't worth it so you should probably stick to cooking, which you realize with dejection was the same conclusion you came to before the portal brought you here in the first place. You sigh and get the stove going for lunch. They have fish. You're good at fish.

Sano scarfs down his own share plus half of Yahiko's, which prompts a display of vulgarity and violence you feel slightly concerned about, before Yahiko tires himself out and gives up with Sano laughing in the background.

"They're certainly energetic today, aren't they?" Kenshin says, slurping tea.

"You two are impossible," says Kaoru.

You let yourself smirk a bit at the aura of comradery coming off the rest of the group. They're obviously close and have been through a lot together. You wish you had that. Your smirk turns frown.

"Um," says Kaoru.

You blink up at her.

"It might be rude to ask this, but since we're all curious, do you mind telling us why you ended up sleeping outside in the first place? It doesn't seem to me you're from around here, and well… normally I don't like prying into someone's past, but I'm curious. You don't have to answer me if you don't want to."

Everyone's eyes are on you. The pressure is suffocating. You want to fade away.

"Yeah, I wanna know that too," says Yahiko.

"Forgive us for being so intrusive," says Kenshin, as if to end the conversation there, but you feel obligated to tell them something, because they've all been so kind to you.

"It's um. It's not a big deal. To be honest, you're right, Kaoru. I'm not from anywhere near here. I got in over my head a little bit, that's all. I can't seem to find my way back."

"What? Got a bad sense of direction or something?" asks Sano.

"Not… exactly."

"Then what?" asks Yahiko. He encroaches into your personal space even more, and you shy away. He doesn't seem to notice how uncomfortable he has made you.

"It's complicated," you say.

"Complicated?" inquires Kaoru.

"This one feels as though you might be a very lonely person," says Kenshin. "Though it is unclear why, that it is. Would you mind telling us what has happened to make you so emotionally guarded?"

You don't answer, collect the dishware, and busy yourself cleaning it. Nobody follows you to the kitchen, but you feel their eyes like shadows on your back.

"Well that was suspicious," you hear Sano say.

You stop at the door before going in to eavesdrop.

"Perhaps she only needs some time to make peace with our forwardness," says Kenshin.

"But still… now I feel bad having asked in the first place," says Kaoru.

"Come on, Kaoru. It's not like you knew she'd react that way," says Yahiko. "But it is kinda weird, don't you think?"

You retire to your room without rejoining them. That night, you contemplate how much of a misfit you really are. You feel bad for making them feel awkward, but also unnerved that they would talk about you behind your back. Then you remember you listened in on their private conversation and feel like a hypocrite.

Under the full moon, when you step out for some fresh air at midnight, a portal swirls open near the well. It taunts you. You suck in breath, and tiptoe back to your room, where another gapes open above your futon.

"Leave me alone," you tell it in a harsh whisper. "I'm happy here. I don't want to go back."

"But are you?" It seems to say, though you can't be sure whether or not you imagined it. "Are you happy here?"

You sleep in the dojo. Kaoru finds you in the morning, and wakes you by shaking your shoulder. You can tell that it's concern in her eyes, not anger.

"I sleepwalk," you tell her. "Sorry."

"Oh," she says, but is obviously not convinced.

Megumi gives you a clean bill of health after they convince you to get a checkup. You expected this, but the rest of them are left even more bewildered than before. You can tell they're scrambling to explain your weird behavior, and you feel bad for them, but worse for yourself.

The portals follow you during the daytime now. When you cook, they open over the stove, so you have to burn your hands to get the pan out of range before it disappears. When you clean, they suck your rags into an abyss like vacuums. You're tired of explaining why you need more cleaning supplies to Kaoru, and her patience is obviously growing thin.

One day it becomes too much to bear and you scream at the top of your lungs.

"Leave me alone!"

Everyone rushes in. You're pulling out your hair, eyes crinkled into a pained glare at the empty space in front of you. The portal vanished before they got there. Kenshin's eyes dart around the room, his hand hovering dangerously over the sword at his hip. Sano is equally alert, knees slightly bent, guard half-raised in anticipation.

You fall to your knees, and Yahiko sprints over to you, asking if you're okay.

"I'm sorry," you cry. "I can't take it anymore! I have to tell you the truth."

"Truth about what?" asks Kaoru. She kneels next to you, reaching out a hand as if to comfort you, but she stops, seemingly hesitant to touch you. You can feel the warmth of her palm above your shoulder.

You fess up. You explain everything. You tell them that you were never happy with your life, that you were looking for an escape, but you never expected your wish to come true. You tell them the portals are stalking you now, and you don't want to be whisked away anymore. You like it here. You don't want to go back.

They look at you like you're crazy, and you can't blame them after all that you've said. Still, there's a disappointment that seeps into your heart, and secretly you wish something would happen to make them understand.

A portal answers your silent plea, opening wide beneath you. As you fall in, you see everyone lurch forward to catch you, but they're too late. The abyss churns your vision white, and your ordinary life comes crashing back, feeling hollower than before.


End file.
